BIG CHANGES!!!

Hello Hello!!! 

Well, as you may know ... or may not, I'm moving home for the rest of the summer! I know this is a pretty big change. I would love to say that it's what I want but to be completely honest I have no clue what I want right now. I just know that I'm very confused. The sad part is I have never felt so unsure about anything before. I feel confused, sad, happy, excited, depressed, hurt, free SERIOUSLY EVERY EMOTION IN THE BOOK depending on the time of day. I really have no one to blame for that but myself. I don't even know where this came from and I can't even begin to explain it. I just woke up one morning confused and it only got worse. The strange part is I was actually really happy with how everything was going. Maybe it's because I have had a lot of trouble finding a stable job? Maybe it's because I didn't have a license, so I couldn't do ANYTHING on my own? Maybe it's because I missed Orlando too much? Maybe it's for all the reason's above... maybe none. Who the heck knows?

 I spent the past few days in Orlando. I had fun, but it wasn't the same. I did a lot of "soul searching" and just spent a lot of time on my own thinking about my future and what I at this point in my life. The worst part of it all, I didn't figure out any answers. Well, actually, I did. And it's simple... I'll be okay. Whether I move home or stay in Ocala, whether we break up or stay together, whether I pass the clast on Monday or not, no matter what, life will go on and I'll survive. I'm not going to lie... I shed a tremendous amount of tears. It felt good to let it all out though. I came back to Ocala tonight for a candle party Rob's mom and I had planned. It was a big success and we got lots of free stuff because so much was sold. We had a really nice "girls only" night and tomorrow I'm going to finish packing my stuff. 

As for Rob and I.... I don't know. I have thought about it non-stop for days now. And, it's not that we don't care anymore, we are just at a point now where it's a make or break. We have to start thinking about our future. It's been two years off and on and it's about that time to think about where this is going. The fact that I haven't been very happy here is a big part of the problem. It just not my home. My friends aren't here and my life isn't here. But I'm not sure I can afford and emotionally handle another year of long distance. I am so thankful for our reunion trip because I have never needed my friends and some good advice more in my life. It sounds weak, but I can't imagine not having him in my life. He's just become such a huge part of it. However, we are just in rut and it's not fun. He supports me in Ocala or back at home. My sister couldn't be more excited. It just stinks because I spent so much time last year rushing to get there and now I have all the time in the world and it's not working... well I'm sorry for the long boring blog but I have so much on my mind right now. I'm going to get some sleep because I have packing and studying tomorrow. 

Missing my girls soooooo much!!! 

P.S- I love Orlando, but it wasn't the same without the Glen. I miss girls night on the couch. 

Quote of the Day:

Well, I'm gonna get out of bed every morning...breathe in and out all day long. Then, after a while I won't have to remind myself to get out of bed every morning and breath in and out....and, then after a while, I won't have to think about how great and perfect I had it once ~ Sleepless in Seattle

That quote is for our days together :) 

Because girls can play games too...

Today I'm keeping it short and sweet: 

I wish I lived in Orlando. I find myself spending so much time just wishing I could spend my down time with my girls. Just sitting on the couch drinking wine, listening to music on my ghetto speaker system, maybe playing a board game and having girl talk. I guess I never appreciated like I should have when it was part of my daily routine. But lately, I've been feeling way too young for this lifestyle of only being able to see my friends when we have planned events. Living with them is just way more fun!!! sigh.... I guess we'll have to hopefully have to have an i-chat wine night soon! 

Mel's Quote of the Day: 

"I think I would miss you...even if we never met"

A brand new night With the same old stars.

Hello :) 

So today I've just been doing so researching on teh CLAST Exam. Unfortunately, they are getting rid of it. Now, I know what your thinking... Why is she saying UNFORTUNATELY? This should be good news right? The test that has pretty much ruined me and cost me THOUSANDS of dollars is going to be gone? Well... here's the down fall: They are going to make a new and improved one because so many students aren't passing it and it's so old. UNFORTUNATELY... (here's the catch) while they are in the process of making this new and improved test all students who have not yet met the requirements (That's me!) will need to take the new SAT (yeah, that awful test from high school. I must get a 600 in the math section. That's higher then I got last time and that was after 4 years of preparation. Now I could never do that well... AHHH! So the last day to take the CLAST exam is June 30th. Meaning, if I don't pass... well they might be able to postpone my internship AGAIN!!!!! Can you believe it? So please pray for me. This is so important. Well, I'm going to get back to studying. Hopefully, I'll have a HAPPY blog about my clast worries being over on the 30th when I pass with flying colors (fingers crossed). 

Chow! 

-M

P.S- Hope K is having an amazing time on her date right now! Can't wait for every single DETAIL!

P.S.S- Hope S can join us on I chat soon! I miss her beautiful face!!! 

Mels' quote of the day:

You know Hobbes...some days even wearing my lucky rocketship underwear doesn't help. – Calvin

 

So today I'm just relaxing and wishing I could spend the day with my dad! He would kill me though for spending that much money on gas for one day! So me visiting him would make him more upset then happy. So instead I'm just spending the day reading a book and baking some cookies. Speaking of cookies... these ones look so delicious! They are cinnabun cookies. They just came out in break and bake! I'll let you know how they turn out!  Luckily, I'm not alone... Kiko is sitting on my lap (and licking my leg, ewww!).

Shout out to my girl KATY! I be running these streets!! Haha did you like that gangsta shout out? No, but seriously, I started jogging! You'd be proud! We actually just entered a 5k. It's in Orlando in August and you get to go to Disney! So I'm training. Unfortunately, Rob thinks it necessary to sweat off the pounds while I tend to whine the entire time. So lately we've been running in opposite directions (actually this only really happened once). He's become a work-out aholic and I'm really not enjoying this new exercise thing. I enjoy a nice 30 minute ellipticle sesh with Steph much better! Oh well, I guess I could just stay home but I feel guilty being a bum so hey maybe it'll be good for me. 

On another note, I have a new possible job! Hopefully that works because they gymnastics coaching isn't. I guess they're on to me only wanting a summer job but I haven't heard from them all week not to mention they aren't returning my calls. So I'm hoping this new job will be much better! I'll keep you all updated! 

I am going to go check on the cookies! But, hope you had a wonderful weekend!!!!! Missing you bunches and bunches! I chat date soon please!! xoxox

Mel's Quote of the day (as promised): 

I love everything that's old; old friends, old times, old manners, old books, old wine... and old friends are the best! - Oliver Goldsmith

Shout out to S and K: You're the old friends I'm referring too!!! Love you both!

I'm trying to get down to the heart of the matter....

Why hello! 

Lately I've just been trying to lose a few pounds so I don't hate summer (swimsuit season) so much and doing some studying for the GED. I'm going to try and take in next month! Let's hope I don't completely bomb it like the CLAST exam! I'm going to write a longer blog tonight but I just wanted to do a quick little blog! I'm going to start doing a quote of Mel's day too! So for my very first one: 

Be brave as it challenges you to exercise both your heart and your mind as you create your own path towards happiness, don't waste time with regret. Spin wildly into your next action. Enjoy the present, each moment, as it comes; because you'll never get another one quite like it. And if you should ever look up and find yourself lost, simply take a breath and start over. Retrace your steps and go back to the purest place in your heart... where your hope lives. You'll find your way again. - Gilmore girls 

Inspired by Hollie of course!

Hope everyone is having a wonderful weekend! Hoping for an   *M-S-K*   Ichat tonight!

-M

Hello There!!! 

It's been a little while since I've been able to blog! I've been so busy! Anyway, first and for most I'm so missing my girls! I'm excited there is a light at the end of the tunnel because we are planning a fabulous road trip to Pensacola and that keeps me going!!! 

Life goes on...

Just wanted to add some pictures for personal entertainment to my post today... 

Last night I got to i-chat with Katy! It was so nice to finally "see" her again! Unfortunately, My Steph was not available. Probably, sleeping because under the weather. FEEL BETTER STEPH! As for me, well I'm trying to figure out what's been wrong with me the past few days. For some strange reason I've had really awful pains in my chest/sternum. I did some research on it and it could be many things. If it's still bothering me tomorrow I'm going to have to go the the doctor. Which is one of my least favorite things to do. 

I have no exciting updates right now. The last few days have consisted of lots of television, internet and reading.

One thing hasn't changed at all, I MISS MY FRIENDS!!! 

The end of an era...

“Even though we've changed and we're all finding our own place in the world, we all know that when the tears fall or the smile spreads across our face, we'll come to each other because no matter where this crazy world takes us, nothing will ever change so much to the point where we're not all still friends"

I am starting a blog to stay in touch with my best friends. Less than a week ago two of my best friends moved away :(. Did I mention they were also my roommates? No? Well, now you know. My best friends/roommates graduated college (YAY!) and went off to begin the rest of their lives (BOO). In all honesty,  I couldn't be more excited for them! However, that doesn't mean I'm not going to miss them, because I'll miss them so very much. Even though we've been anticipating the move all year, it's still just as hard. The fact that I won't being seeing them each and every day is devastating, even worse knowing that from now on our times together are going to have to be planned out trips is even harder. 

Anyway, I'm sure you get the drift of what I'm saying. I miss my best friends and I'm really sad they don't live with me ore even in the same city as me anymore. They live on opposite ends of the state. One in Pensacola and the other In Miami. We are already planning a P'cola trip soon though!

As for my summer plans, I'm living with my boyfriend in Ocala. It's a big change for me because even though I visit a lot, my home has been Orlando for the past 5 years. For the next 2-3 months my home will be Ocala and I'm nervous/excited to see what it will be like. Don't worry though, you will be getting many updates on my blog. I'm sure I'll have many stories/blogs about this interesting town. 

As for today, I spent the day looking for a second job and now I'm preparing for the Orlando Magic basketball game that starts in a few hours. It's been a fun day, but in the back of my mind I'm still really missing my friends.